Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Three Memorable Comments ...

Today's post is prompted by

Heads Or Tails

Today is Tails: List Three and coincidentally, I just happen to have three things to share. Three Memorable Comments related to my recent surgical experience.

I'm not keen on general anesthesia. You're lying there (naked with a thin sheet on top of you) on a steel table staring up at people in masks holding knives ... and then several hours later, you wake up not being able to breathe - with absolutely no recollection of anything in between. I don't know about you, but that to me is somewhat, um, uncomfortable.

Last Friday, I walked myself, all the while attempting to maintain dignity, grace, and modesty while clutching the flimsy sheet, to the operating room. Walking to the OR was new for me, but I think I get it. The Surgical Assistant came into my room, asked my name, and the procedure that I assumed I was getting, and then grabbed my IV and escorted me to the OR - where I had to get on to the table myself ... and stare at the masked people, and the knives on the trays - oh, and don't get me started on the glaring overhead lights.

So my anesthesiologist says,

Comment One: "OK, Lisa, here's your champagne and strawberries ..."

and then literally, in the middle of my laugh, I was out. I awoke 2.5 hours later not being able to breathe and hearing a child screaming and crying at the top of his lungs. As a parent, this is NOT the first thing you want to hear after the last thing you remember is a masked man holding a knife.

Panic, apparently is not the perfect companion in a post operative situation. Who knew? So, I'm lying there, gasping, coughing, and trying to call out. The fabulously sensitive post-op nurse came in, slapped an oxygen mask on my face, and said, "Take deep breaths". My sarcasm quickly came back on-line (at least in my head) and I said to myself "Listen, lady, if I could take deep breaths, don't you think I would be?" I finally calmed down (most likely after an eternity of 30 - 50 seconds) and managed to choke out the words, "Is the child OK? Is there something wrong with him?" Please understand that this child was SCREAMING as if being tortured ... this was not the typical cry you hear in a doctor's office after a vaccination ... but then again, I was under the influence. Fabulously sensitive post-op nurse said, "Yes, he's fine, he just had his adenoids out."

I said, "With or without anesthetic?"

Fast forward to yesterday (not much to report other than the surgery itself was apparently uneventful and the gallbladder is now a mere memory - Friday and Saturday were spent in a fog of pain meds and sleep).

I was relating the above story to my chiropractor, Justin, who said his recent shoulder surgery was much the same (walking into the OR, staring at masked people with knives, and then waking up not being able to breathe) when my wonderful husband says, "Yes, the surgeon took a side trip to visit her liver just to make sure it was OK and he said it looked great."

At this, comedian Justin says,

Comment Two: "That's great - I'll bet he saw the Absolut label and said, OK - all good here." I said, "Not to mention the Patron label" and then the banter disintegrated from there.

The third comment comes from my six year old son. My son, and I were sitting down when my son asked me to go with him to play catch. I said, "No, sweetie, not right now, Mommy's tummy is still a bit sore, I'm just going to rest a bit more today." At that point, my husband came in and sat down. Timing is everything ... so he asked my husband, who said, "But son, Daddy just sat down and is so comfortable!" To which I replied, "Yes, but you're not recovering from havin an organ ripped from your body." To which my son replied, with perfect six year old inflection -

Comment Three: "Good one, Mommy."

They left to go play catch.

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Barb said...

Lisa, I love your take on things!!! Masked men with knifes? hahaha. (Sorry if I'm not supposed to laugh about your trauma.)

You had to WALK? Here's a hint. Next time ask for Demerol or something while still in your room. Then you cannot walk. You just lay there being stupid. :P

Your son is hilarious!!!

Yesterday my hubby was looking over my blog. Something he would never do unless I said something vague like, "Go look at my blog."

He saw your blog link on my sidebar and said, "That looks like a fun blog." He's right. :)

Lisa - Life is Like a Box of Legos said...

Skittles, thanks for the kind words!!! It's great that I can make you laugh with my pain (tee hee) ... seriously, or jokingly - laugh away!!!

Smalltown RN said...

Yes I would say you are a story teller. Being a Recovery Room RN I have seen patients wake up from the surgery in all sorts of states...and yes it can be traumatizing to hear someone else screaming....having had open heart surgery in December know all to well the whole groggy state....I actually remember them taking the breathing tube out of my mouth...looking over at my daughters and saying to them what troopers they were for hanging around the whole time....funny the things we say...and thoughts that come to our head.

Hope you are feeling better and get a chance to throw the ball around with your son.

Tumblewords: said...

Excellent post, as always! Glad you escaped the men with knives and didn't trip on your sheet. Take care!

Karen said...

It is such an awful feeling to try and wake up from surgery. Icky stuff. LOL at your son. Did your husband throw the ball?

Vixen said...

I am glad your liver has company since your gallbladder left it all alone....

Barb said...

Happy Easter (if you celebrate it)!!!!