Thursday, February 26, 2009

Mile 4

OK - it's back to the drawing board for me. I have hoards (and I do mean hoards, but not necessarily mean hoards) of murmurings and musings in my head and they must be organized. So I'm starting from the beginning ... again.

Which happens to be one of my most favorite Taoist premises ... "there are no beginnings and no endings" ... so , drat ... now I'm confused ... how can I start from the beginning "again" if there are no beginnings. I guess I'm coming full circle. Oh wait, that's it ... doh.

I started this blog to journal my training experience for running a full marathon. Been there, run that ... (which is the motto on my new favorite dry fit, running shirt). It was an "Achievement" <---note the capital "A". I didn't "run" the whole thing, I walked some, but I finished and I have the medal and it's the same freakin' medal that the runners got who finished in 3 hours less time than I did. Which led me to doing a half marathon - which seemed so "easy" compared to a full one ... so I did another one ... and another one ...

I encountered a lot of personal angst during my marathon training. There was drama, there was pain, there was encouragement, but over all there was satisfaction in achieving a goal. So, I said to myself recently (myself and I have a lot of conversations ... but that's another story),

"Self, you need to rethink your blog."
"Really? Just because NO ONE reads it doesn't mean it should be redone."
"Well, it is a journal of sorts, that's true, but it's not serving a PURPOSE any longer."
"Huh, good point."
"It doesn't even go with the title of your blog any longer - you don't talk about LEGOS much."
"Huh, another good point."
"Thanks, I thought those would resonate with you."

And so the conversation went, until we (myself and I) decided to get more coffee.

With that, there will be a few changes coming up. First, more about my thoughts on why I think "life is like a box of legos". Second, more about running ... and finally, more posts in general. I have to learn how to stop blogging in my head - which makes it less convenient for those of you who have direct telepathic connections to me, but should be better for those with just mere internet access.

So on to mile 4.

Here's the thing about mile 4 for me. I'm used to running 3 miles two or three times a week and then I run 6 miles at least once, sometimes twice. When I'm training for an endurance event, I attempt 3 consecutive days at 4 miles, 6 miles, 4 miles, respectively, and then 8 - 12 miles after a day of rest, with a cross training day shoved in between somewhere. I do this for 4 - 6 weeks before the "event".

The first time I hit "mile 4" after a comfortable time of doing only 3 -- well, there's no other way to say it, it just sucks. Even though I am used to runing 6 at least once a week, there's something about mile 4 that first time that's difficult.

Maybe it's a mental "beginning". As in, "great, now I have to start training AGAIN and do 4 miles instead of 3 and it's going to take longer and I have a lot to do, and "fill in the blank with dozens of additional complaints". I'm not sure what the problem for me is with mile 4, but there's a definite mind shift. I'm not "DONE" after mile 3, I have to keep going. It's the same when I get to mile 10 ... but I'm not there yet in my training this time, so I'll keep that for later. Mile 4 is the "first step" of sorts and like most "first steps", it's the hardest to make. There's a level of commitment that has to happen, which comes with some type of sacrifice. And sacrifice, at least for me, is hard.

So let's consider this post, my blogging Mile 4 ... it's a new beginning, a commitment to make a change (hopefully for the better). Oh, and how is that comparable to Legos? That's an easy one ... you have to open the box to find out!!

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