Thursday, December 31, 2009

A Wii bit more on Day Four

Fresh from our day of rest on Day 3, Wii continued with Day 4 of the Wii Personal Trainer Challenge ... I kicked back with a freshly brewed cup of coffee, wiping the sleep from my eyes and watched my husband go through the routines first. Quality entertainment and motivation right there.

Day 4 seems abbreviated from Day 2 and includes Cardio Dancing ... seriously not making this up. As I mentioned, quality entertainment right there.

Doug managed a silver medal for the day and then it was my turn to run through the 18 "simple" exercises. Unfortunately, my hand/eye coordination is a bit - well, let's just say off ... so when the words blink/roll on the screen (Left/Right/Up/Down) ... my movements do not necessarily coordinate - I think I got 30 out of 40 ... I gave it my best shot. I'm truly hoping there are no videos of this.

Tennis did not show me any love today and my jumps during inline skating were feeble at best (only 6 of the 9 tricks were achieved), but I ended with dancing and laughing so hard, my sides hurt. My personal trainer told me "I'm worried that you didn't give it your "all" during the jumps". I laughed even more and told him "Oh yeah? Well, I burned more calories than my target and I had fun while doing it ... nah, nah, nah." Ahhh, the missing endorphins from Day 3 are now back ... bwahahahahah.

Doug worries about me talking to the TV.

So, we're kicking out the old year and Cardio Dancing in the new.

Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Wii Day Three

Today was a rest day ... yes, Day 3 is a rest day, I am not making that up.

Wii took the Day 3 survey - and both received bronze medals ... they threw us a bone ... neither of us ate the appropriate number of vegetables ... although Wii did each have a glass of V8 fusion(that's two right there) and a salad which made 3 - not so bad, is it? Wii may have had 4 but seriously can't remember if it was yesterday or today that Wii had the fruit with our breakfast. So we're taking the bronze and are exceedingly happy. Happy. Exceedingly.

Surprisingly, I was not sore this morning. I actually felt pretty good until about 5pm - when I just became irritated for no apparent reason. No doubt, it was a lack of endorphins.

I'm looking forward to Day 4 ... hooo-rah - I need the endorphins back to help kick out/I mean, kick off the new year.






Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Wii Three Kings of Orient Are ...

Wii traveled afar ... well, about 250 miles to the beach ... but who's counting ... and we brought the Wii ... it has officially consumed us - we are now Wii.

I had a thought that I might try to journal the 30 day challenge with the stupid Wii - Personal Trainer ... I hate him so far. OK, hate might be a bit strong coming off the Christmas holidays - I don't like him ... very much ... at all.

Day 1 was yesterday, December 28th ... I made my husband do it with me ... or Mii ("made" might be a bit unrealistic as well, "guilted" might be more appropriate). We (Wii) created our Mii's ... loved the fact we could tailor the body shape ... that was greeeeaaaattttt.

I have at least been running for the last two years, but husband hasn't exercised on a regular basis since we did a triathlon ... in the year 2000.

But who's counting.

So it was a Wii Christmas (Wii Lego Star Wars, Wii Lego Indiana Jones, Wii Sports Resorts and Wii Personal Trainer) ... Wii created Mii's ... and Wii began the Wii personal challenge. Wii like Wii archery, Wii sword fighting, and Wii canoeing ... but back to the Wii Personal Trainer.

They are simple exercises Wii said to each other ... squats, running in place, bicep curls, lunges ... simple, Wii said ... laughed even ... as Wii strapped the Nun-chuks to our thighs ... and played with the resistance band.

Day 1's challenge completion was celebrated with Pillsbury cinnamon rolls only this time, I didn't bake the lid to the icing on the pan ...

On Day 1, I also ran a quick 5K ... ok, maybe not so "quick" but I did it ... and Doug did a session on the elliptical ... plus played in the pool and some football on the beach ... so the left over Christmas cookies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner desserts were completely justified ... completely, yes, yes, they were ... that's our story and Wii are sticking to it.

Day 2 -
As I inventoried each aching muscle, I briefly considered paying my 7 year old son to do my personal training Wii session for me. He was still asleep and I felt a twinge of guilt for waking him, so I persevered and watched my husband tackle the Personal Trainer first. I read a book, said "Great Job" on occasion and sipped my coffee.

As my husband, gleaming with perspiration, tore off the thigh strap and threw, I mean, tossed it to me on the sofa, I gritted my teeth and did my Day 2 work out. I didn't like it, it made my quads hurt. Husband took a brief nap on the sofa in support of my efforts. I was touched.

There was no celebration cinnamon roll after Day 2's completion ... and my husband said to me, "I don't think it's working, I still look the same." I replied, "I agree, let's quit."

He gave me a look.

Later, he took a second long nap - I'm taking it as an omen of sorts.

Day 3 is a day of rest ... I can hardly wait for Day 4.

One would think that one could not feel anger or frustration towards a computer game ... but apparently, one (namely me) would be wrong ...

One would also think that running would allow one to keep a relatively good fitness level ... but one (namely me) would be wrong ... there are muscles that the Wii Personal Trainer uses that I swear should never be used ever ... but I digress.

So, hat's off to you, EA Personal Trainer for the Wii ... Wii are taking your stupid 30 day challenge ... so there.

*There were no Legos harmed in the writing of this post (mainly because my son moved them out of my reach).



Thursday, October 29, 2009

One of those days

Have you ever had one of those days when you wake up and you just know it's going to be a great day? The sky is blue, the sun is shining, there's a lovely cool breeze, perfect, just perfect ... so you thank God for your many blessings, leap out of bed and stub your toe ...

But still you maintain that glow and know it's going to be a great day, so you chuckle to yourself and bound down the stairs to get your coffee ...

... and miss the last step in your haste ... but it's all good ... because the dishes are done, the counter is clear and you realize that although you forgot to program the coffee maker last night, it will take less than 3 minutes.

Still smiling, you wait for the coffee, and decide to check your business email on your Blackberry - because it's conveniently located on the clean counter, only to find that some of your clients sent business related emails after 7pm the evening before - when the majority of the work force is already half way through happy hour.

Mid-way through the first email, you hear the beep signaling coffee which slightly diffuses the minuscule amount of angst over immediately delving into work mode. And you make a mental note not to check email before coffee ... ever.

Then, you realize that you have to take your son to school and he's not up yet ... so you bound back up the stairs, and joyfully proclaim it "a good morning" while your sleepy son snuggles warmly under the covers and refuses to move. Remembering the joy you experienced when you woke up, you try to make the waking routine pleasant for him, by giving him a kiss and saying in a soft voice, "It's time to get up little dude" ... but when he doesn't budge, you resort to pulling back the covers and bribery. Fast forward through 15 minutes of coercion, still smiling and holding on to that brightness you claimed upon first waking, you throw a pop tart in the toaster, grab the kid, the backpack, and a cup of milk - catch the pop tart when the toaster ejects, and fly to the school in your car ... forgetting your wallet with driver's license and praying that the 1 mile round trip won't include any flashing blue lights.

Back in the house, you remember that you didn't finish your coffee in the haste to get your son off to school, so you settle down to that first cup, which is now nicely cold ... but you are thankful still and decide to put the cup in the microwave ... and you open up the laptop to finish the email that you started an hour ago ... and find that you now have several new emails that need responses ... so you go back to get your coffee from the microwave but decide that you should at least put one load of laundry in prior to settling in to work mode. So you go upstairs, sort the clothes, carefully go back down the stairs (in deference to the toe you stubbed earlier and the not-so-graceful landing on the way into the kitchen to get coffee) and put a load into the washing machine, making a mental note that you need to buy more detergent.

You give silent thanks for the sunshine streaming through the windows, which you notice in this light look horrid and need to be washed, so you grab some cleaning supplies and begin the task, only to realize that the outsides need to be done too ... and since these are really old windows that don't exactly open, you have to clean them from the outside ... with a ladder ... so you abandon that project and return to your laptop ... finding more emails waiting for responses.

Happily you reheat the coffee (AGAIN), grind through the emails, phone calls, and begin to compose one of the summaries you are supposed to write, and realize that you have 40 minutes to get to a meeting ... so you pause, race upstairs again for a quick shower and while you're getting dressed get mascara on your dress. Luckily (because it's a perfect day), you have the Oxy-Clean handy because you were doing laundry, and you are able to get the giant dime sized smear of mascara off of the left side of your chest and are left with a giant wet spot which you proceed to blow dry with the hair dryer that you left out because you're running late ... all good.

Laughing at the absurdity of the morning, you grab your purse, portfolio, and business cards, glancing at the clock on your way out. As luck would have it, you have 10 minutes to get to the meeting which is 15 minutes away in good metro traffic ... so you grab your (second cup of) coffee ... which is now cold AGAIN ... so you pop it into the microwave for 30 seconds and go. Now that you only have 9 minutes to get to your meeting, you relax a bit as you will every light to be green ... and they are, because it's a good day ... and you think about your impending meeting ... and sip your coffee ... and then get to an intersection with a red light and have to stop suddenly so you spill some coffee on the EXACT SAME SPOT as the mascara ... and you are thankful that you have a jacket.

Positive energy surrounds as you get to your meeting place, and the person you are meeting is on the phone, so it doesn't appear that he's annoyed because you're 6 minutes late ... and you wait ... and you wait ... and then the minute he's off the phone, you both get engaged in a conversation with another person who is waiting for someone, so you don't start your own meeting for 30 minutes ... but you've made a delightful new connection. Business is conducted and concluded and 3 hours later, you are on your way back home returning phone calls you've missed while in your meetings and looking forward to hopefully catching up on the emails that continue to pile up (according to the all knowing Blackberry). You remain thankful that you even have any business in the first place and that you have a Blackberry. So you delve into the phone messages and emails and begin to write that summary again, when you glance at the clock and realize that you have to pick your son up from school in 5 minutes ... so you dash out of the house again to retrieve your child, who needs to work on a poster project the minute he walks in the door. First graders have a lot of homework these days.

You engage your child in his project, put the clothes in the dryer that were washed 8 hours ago, and decide to put another load in, when your son asks for some help, which you give cheerfully, because he's only going to be this age once and you're so thankful to have him. Halfway through your participation efforts with his project, you answer a phone call from your husband who is out of town for the day on business. He asks if you have packaged the 20 boxes of "thank you candy" that you are sending to business clients ... to which you cheerfully reply, "Well, not quite, but I have enough tape and will try to finish that up as soon as I complete the address list, the summary that I should have sent out this morning, and return a few more calls, make dinner for our son, do the laundry, and help with the school project and homework."

Revived with fresh zeal, you help your son with the project, make dinner and put together 20 boxes when you run out of tape ... that you assured your husband you had enough of ... only an hour ago when he was standing in an office store and asked you if you needed more tape. Knowing that he was traveling, you call, laugh, and tell him about the tape faux pas ... understanding that he has been on the road since 6:30am and not expected to return until 8:30pm, is tired and travel weary ... and still has 2 hours to travel. Which is about the time that your mother calls to see if you've done that favor for her that she asked you to do over a week ago ... which of course, you haven't, and your connection keeps dropping, so you have to keep calling her back, which takes even more time ... and you start to feel your energy level dropping ever so slightly ...

But it's time for your son to get a shower, and get ready for bed, and you remember that he still has to do his reading homework. So you help him with the homework, get him into to bed, offer prayers of thanks again, and head back down stairs to try to finish something (anything) that you started 14 hours ago. When your husband phones in to tell you that he stopped at an office store close to home but it had closed 1 minute before he got there, you say, "That's fine" smiling through your frustration which he hears in your voice and asks if you're ok ... which of course, you reply ... "sure, all good ...".

By the time he arrives home, you're sipping a glass of wine and you imagine him wondering what you've done all day ... because he sees the piles of partially packaged boxes, the laundry on the floor, the mess on the kitchen table, and the stacks of paper by your laptop.

Have you ever had one of those days? Ever? Me neither ... not just one ... anyway.

Sometimes your legos get scattered all over the place ... and they might even stub a toe, but they do fit together ... eventually.


follow me on Twitter

Thursday, October 1, 2009

If you build it, they will come ...


Well, aren't I a big FAT liar? Sure, I lull you into believing I will post more, but then what happened? It's just not fair ...

My legos are just plain stuck. Stuck, stuck, stuck... I've tried pulling them apart, prying them apart (and frankly, I really shouldn't be holding sharp implements of pending doom). I've tried stomping on them (the legos, not the sharp implements), throwing them against hard objects (husband and son excluded), and they just WON'T BUDGE (um, the legos, not my husband or son) I tell you, THEY WON'T DO IT ...

So what do you do when you have legos that are stuck together?

You have 3 options.

1) You throw them away and start over. I know it's hard to let go of these things some times, but you just have to do it, I say ... LET IT GO!

2) You can redesign ... sure, it would have been nice to go with your original plan ... but some times you have to throw caution to the wind and just think "OUT OF THE LEGO BOX" ... try something new.

3) You can do nothing ... just keep stomping on those legos ... stomp, stomp, stomp ... wave your arms wildly in the air and get out those frustrations ... then try options 1 or 2 ... choosing option 3 will only make things worse in the long run (and believe me, I KNOW long runs ... I'm preparing for another half marathon in 8 weeks ... then maybe possibly another "we'll see how it goes - sure I'll consider it" marathon in 2010 ... whoo hoo!!!)

Life is really like a box of Legos ... and sometimes they do get stuck together, but you do have options ... if you build it, they will come!

This post is participating in the fabulous Tuesday meme - Heads or Tails ... play here!


Heads Or Tails




WW - FALL!!!!



Rate this at Humor Blogs

Thursday, August 13, 2009

I feel a little t'ick in the head


I know I've been conspicuously AWOL in blog world ... or at least conspicuous to those faithful few (or faithful two) that noticed my absence.

But, fear not ... all is well (more or less) - I've just been dealing with a minor facebook/mafia wars obsession, being a mom of a 6 year old (almost 7), and self-employment/trying to keep our business afloat - but I now have plenty of blog fodder ... I'll try to keep you current.

This week, I've been trying (unsuccessfully) to cram 8 hours of work into 2 hours. I hear tell that Einstein had a formula for that ... he was a smart man, after all. What with all my "free time" since school started back, my day begins roughly (and I do mean begins "rough-ly") at 6:30am. I drag my bleary reluctant self out of bed to find coffee and attempt to get my son ready for school.

By 7:15am, he has been deposited safely on the bus leaving me to struggle against the predominant urge to go back to bed.

This morning, after about 90 minutes, I gave up trying to cram all of my business tasks into my morning work focus time, and opted for a run. As it rained yesterday, the weather outside was close to pleasant (as close to pleasant as you can get in August in Georgia). After arriving to my favorite running spot at the river, I reached behind my ear to straighten my pony tail and felt a bump in my head ... after picking at it, I looked at it (naturally) - thinking it was a scab ... and discovered a tick.

A T - I - C - K!!!!! Screaming aloud, I pinched it between my fingers and threw it away - jumping up all the while and scratching. Immediately, I called my husband and asked, "Am I going to die with lyme disease now or later?"

I am several decades old (still a bit in denial over EXACTLY how many decades ... but suffice it to say, several) and have NEVER pulled a tick out of my hair. EW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My dearest husband assured me I would be fine ... but how could he know for certain? By the time I finished my run in the wooded trail by the river (doh), I was seeing TICKS everywhere ... feeling them crawl through my skin, leap by the thousands from the trees, hearing them approach me from behind (TICK TOCK TICK TOCK .... seriously, how else would they sound?) ... it was awful, just awful.

I saw myself in my mind's eye returning home only to open the garage door and be attacked by a large 10 foot tall TICK ... trying to defend myself with my ipod ... horrific.

I imagined getting into the shower and ticks crawling up from the drain ... having them jumping/flying out of closets, cabinets, drawers ... oh my!

I'll never be able to play TIC(K) tac toe again ...

UGH!

Then I did the worse thing imaginable ... I googled ticks. Thank you wikipedia for the tick picture ... priceless I say ... I went to WebMD and found this little tid bit of information.
Avoid areas with lots of ticks. Ticks like wooded, bushy areas with high grass and lots of leaf litter.
NOT BLOODY LIKELY ...

The wooded picture above is our back yard ... we are apparently tick heaven. I should be thankful in all of the years we've lived here, this is the first tick I've found on my person (or anyone's person) ... but still ... ew.

So, I'll just go sit on my deck under the trees in the wooded bushy area with lots of leaf litter and drink my coffee ... no doubt caffeine will clear my tick anxieties right out ... or maybe will cause a tic(k) ... sigh.

So how does this tie in to Life is Like a Box of Legos? Oh, that's an easy one, "Sometimes you get ticked (off)."

Rate this at Humor Blogs

Monday, July 13, 2009

The back story ...



I know this is a bit late, but here's the story on the Sand Shark. A few weeks ago, my six year old son (who now when I say, "he's six", corrects me by saying, "Six AND A HALF" ...and I were at the beach late in the afternoon after most people had already gone. We were going to make "something" although at the time, we didn't know what that "something" was.

A few yards from where we started digging, we noticed a man intent on completing a large sculpture ... it was a whale roughly 6 feet long and about 4 feet wide. So I suggested that we make a turtle (primarily because I can actually manage to make a turtle out of sand that roughly looks like a turtle).

My son had other ideas. He suggested a shark ... RIIIIGGGHHHHTTTTT. So while discussing the merits of turtle vs. shark ... the man creating the whale says, "Hey, I can get you started on the shark if you want."

"Greeeeaaaattttt, thanks ..." - ---> although by that time, my son was already helping to draw the outline. So the nice man outlined us a shark and helped dig out the trench.

Fast forward 2 hours later, when the whale was finally completed (it's creator long gone), the shark had teeth and a dorsal fin, and a cute little turtle was added to the food chain representation.

Naturally, I did not have my camera - although, I did have my phone and tried repeatedly to call my husband to ask him to bring the camera - but he didn't receive the calls.

So we ran back to the condo (about a 15 minute round trip) - leaving most of our stuff on the beach by the sculptures.

I returned to the beach alone to retrieve the remaining buckets, shovels, etc. and take the pictures while my husband got our son ready for dinner. When I got to the edge of the dunes, I noticed some young boys kicking up some sand ... in a split second and with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, I realized that they were destroying our sculptures.

I yelled, "HEY!!!!!" about 15 yards out - but to no avail ... so by the time I got close enough, the blood vessels had popped out, my face was colored purple with rage, and my hair frizzed with humidity and standing straight out. The boys (there were two of them) finally stopped long enough to stare at the scary looking woman who was shouting at them.

When in my peripheral vision, I noticed a man sitting close by taking pictures of them while they destroyed the sculptures and a woman walking towards the sand from the water. When she got within speaking distance, she said, "Come on boys, let the lady take her little picture". At this point, I was already trying to repair the damage to the shark (the whale had been almost completely obliterated) but they hadn't gotten to the turtle yet (as I said, it had only been 15 minutes).

I looked up (my voice a bit muted with anger) and said, "Do you realize how long it took someone to make these?"

She said, "So?"

I was stunned.

Then she said, "You clearly don't have boys."

I said, "As a matter of fact I do, but yours clearly don't have manners."

Exit stage left.

So I fumed back to the house, annoyed that I didn't have my stupid camera in the first place, annoyed that my husband didn't answer his phone (or hear it), annoyed that I was hot, sweaty, and sandy and didn't have anything to show for it, annoyed that the man taking pictures of the destruction didn't say anything, and annoyed that I was annoyed over something that was beyond my control.

Yes, I get it was a public (or semi public) beach and yes, I understand that a sand sculpture is temporary, and yes, I get that kids don't necessarily have the appreciation or understanding of the time/effort it takes to build a large sand "object", and yes, I get that some people just don't care.

HOWEVER - out of curiosity, I ask, if you're walking on the beach, and you see a sand sculpture - do you destroy it? And if so, why? I'd like to know. Having a bad day? Or better yet, as a parent or guardian of young impressionable children, do you condone purposefully destructive behavior?

To be fair, we've been on the beach, built a sand castle / fortress that took over an hour to make, and played "construction" with my son to bulldoze little pieces of it away. So if you build it, you can take it down. But when someone else builds it, is it a socially acceptable behavior to destroy it without their invitation to do so? Really?

I can see both sides of this, but it still seems a bit like vandalism of public property to me. I guess that's why they call it freedom of speech.

I've posted more pictures - some from the phone so a little blurry and one with half the whale gone.

How does this relate to Life being like a box of Legos? Well, I'd have to say that sometimes your legos get trampled.



Rate this at Humor Blogs

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Pick it up, people ... Please.

Sometimes I just get overwhelmed and have to release frustration - it's best for my family, friends, and telemarketers if I choose to do this by participating in some type of physical exercise such as running or cycling.

I woke up on Friday, feeling frustrated, challenged, and somehow still hopeful - but overall lost in thought for most of the morning. I posted my combination of feelings on my Facebook status and got a variety of suggestions varying from newly coined words to drink suggestions and an "early happy hour".

I opted for driving myself over to the river for some frustration management.
Running is a great escape, providing, of course, that I don't get lost but that's another story.

I actually meant to post this yesterday ... but then I saw what the theme was for today ...

Heads Or Tails


... Tails: Summertime Memory. Playing is fun, all the cool kids are doing it.


As it was too hot to run far, long, or fast, I opted for a slow(er) jog than usual. As I gazed at the river, up at the sky, and forwards along the dusty path - I let things go ... one by one ... poof ... it was indeed cleansing.

Realizing that I had been silently ranting for quite some time about friends and family who have been diagnosed with serious illnesses or recovering from them, clients who are frustrated with the economic environment, lenders who are frustrated with clients, (laundry that has been piling up ... again ... WHY OH WHY does it never end ... oh wait, that really wasn't part of the rant) some friends that are still unemployed, other friends that have recently been part of a lay off, friends who have been mourning the loss of a loved one ... the list goes on and on. So I lifted my eyes towards heaven and asked God the question that plagues each of us from time to time - "What is it that you want from me?"

And then I had the sudden impulse to look at the ground ... only moments before stepping in ...

... poop.

First, let me say that my interpretation of God is One with a fairly subtle sense of humor ... so I immediately thought of several possibilities.

1) $$it happens ... a la "Forrest Gump" ... it's inevitable ... and you have the option to step in it or over it ... it's up to you.

2) We don't get more than we can handle and as evidenced by my list, most of us have access to a network of support to share those burdens - so when $$it happens, you don't have to wallow in it or $$it as the case may be.

3) When we listen to that inner voice, we can usually avoid stepping into a mess or at least find a way around it.

But the bottom line is this ... when you're walking with your dog outside on a public path ... especially one primarily used by runners and cyclists (and other dog walkers) ... PLEASE PEOPLE, PICK UP YOUR POOP!!!

As a side note, I opened the garage doors yesterday to go outside for a run. About the time the door was completely up, the heavens opened and poured forth torrents of rain, thunder boomed, and lightning cracked ... and then a tree limb fell in my driveway.

Following point #3 above, I closed the garage door and went inside ...



Rate this at Humor Blogs

Thursday, June 4, 2009

The Power of Eight ... or a way to procrastinate for 8 minutes

I was tagged in this note ... by Vixen ... so I must do this thing. Oh, and I should mention, that I expect at least 8 comments on this one ... make it happen people. Feel free to click on links too - comments are always appreciated.

(Do with this information what you will - consider it a bonus, or not ... I just finished reading these two books by Katherine Neville, The Eight and it's sequel, The Fire ... good reads, check it out.)

8 THINGS I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO:

  • Getting to the end of this list (Just kidding, Vix ... ok, no, not really ... ;-))
  • Having loads of summer fun
  • Playing with my 6 year old son (I'm guessing Legos or pirates ... but could be wrong)
  • Completing the restoration of a buffet for my mom (thinking she's looking forward to that, too)
  • The infinite possibilities of the coming months (borrowed this one from Vixen, but I agree)
  • The ultimate success of our business
  • Establishing a Hilton Head Island branch (it will happen ... one day)
  • Cleaning out a few closets (both the literal and the metaphysical kind)

8 THINGS I DID YESTERDAY:

  • Got out of bed
  • Made coffee
  • Opened my eyes (in that order)
  • Listened to angry clients vent their frustrations
  • Took my son to see ancient (1100 B.C.) Etowah Indian Mounds
  • Perspired (sorry, glowed) in the heat
  • Went to the pool with some friends
  • Drank a glass of wine (again, in that order)

8 THINGS I WISH I COULD DO: (note by Lisa-Life Is Like a Box of Legos ... I'm interpreting this as 8 things I will do - you know, like goals ... and such ... otherwise, I'd have to name 8 superpowers I wish I had)

  • I will surround myself with positive people
  • I will have a successful business
  • I will have a house at the beach
  • I will make every opportunity count
  • I will let go of things out of my control
  • I will run another marathon
  • I will lose those "extra" pounds
  • I will finish this meme

8 SHOWS I WATCH:

  • Heroes
  • LOST
  • Greys Anatomy
  • Color Splash
  • House
  • Tudors
  • How I Met Your Mother
  • The Big Bang Theory

8 FAVORITE FOODS:

  • Lobster (with butter, duh)
  • Sushi (some of it)
  • Mexican (most of it)
  • Italian (all of it)
  • Peanut Butter (I could throw Thai food into this category too ... I could drink the peanut sauce)
  • Pizza (I'm including bread, cheese and pesto in this category - wow, am I cheating?)
  • Grilled vegetables ( on pesto pizza with lobster ... ahhhh)
  • Berries (straw, blue, rasp, black, boysen)

8 PLACES I’D LIKE TO TRAVEL:

  • Italy - been there several times, hated leaving, want to go back
  • The UK - lots of reasons
  • Greece - blue's a great color & I've always had a thing for Hercules
  • Japan - not been there, but I like sushi and rice
  • Switzerland - been there would like to return - it's fun trying to figure out what language to use
  • Germany - been there would like to return - castles are way cool
  • Bali - sounds cool and have you seen pictures of this place?
  • The Solar System (seriously ... watching Star Trek reruns as a kid made an impression)

8 PEOPLE I’VE TAGGED:


Rate this at Humor Blogs

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

I've got nothing


Today's post is prompted by

Heads Or Tails


Today's theme is Heads: Motion. Playing is fun, all the cool kids are doing it.

My post today is about what is NOT IN MOTION ... namely, me. I just can't wrap my mind/body/spirit around - well, moving ... forward ... no motivation, really. I'm fairly certain, if I choose to search, I would find a list of things I need to do ... written when I felt motivated to put IN MOTION my finely tuned desire to accomplish things, but well ... it seems to be missing.

Maybe it's the start of summer ... school's out - the pool beckons - laundry can wait ... there are books to read. Sure, I still have to make business calls - but I do so quickly so that I can make as little motion as possible.

Calm waters - no waves ... no wind ... just being.

So, in the words of my 6 year old, when we asked him to think about what it was he wanted to do the other night ... I'm squeezing my eyes tightly (just as he did), pausing for a few seconds, giving my shoulders a good shrug ... and saying ...

"I've got nothing."

Rate this at Humor Blogs

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Juice Box Hero


Every once in a while, you are fortunate to have one of "those moments" - the priceless ones that must be recorded for posterity.


Here's today's entry.

While driving in the car, listening to satellite radio (the classics), Foreigner's Juke Box Hero came across the airwaves. Our son, in his 6 year old wisdom - after listening to a few lines, starts singing ...

"Juice Box Hero ..." replete with air guitar motions.

We had to pull over we were laughing so hard.



Rate this at Humor Blogs

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Fighting Dragons

Wow - where have I been? When last I posted, I was ankle deep in sewage water and calling a plumber. All water under the bridge at the moment (and in the pipes draining as it should).

Today's post is prompted by the Tuesday meme - Heads or Tails ...

Heads Or Tails

The theme for today is: "Tails - Brave". Interesting topic ... especially for one who doesn't always feel very "brave".

So you may have noticed the picture to the above right. This was a family project a few months ago ... boxes sponsored by "Nana" who brought them from work. The castle was designed (on paper) by our son (age 6). He also supervised construction and handed us pieces of Gorilla tape (which by the way is sheer genius). For a Gorilla vs. Duct discussion, click here.

Oh right, back to the theme of the post ... I thought the dragon castle (and note the dragon actually peaking out of the "dungeon") seemed to fit the title "Fighting Dragons" - which is actually going to correspond to the theme - "Brave". But, do I really have a single story about being brave? I can't really think of a single thing - maybe because the coffee hasn't kicked in yet. I think sometimes getting out of bed in the morning is brave (who knows what evil spirits are lurking in your plumbing ... now there's an interesting analogy). I also think that facing the proverbial dragon is brave (whatever your dragon might be ... a person, place or thing ... is fear a thing?).

For me, I think parenting is about the bravest thing I have done. I was not chronologically young when I had our son and it was not an easy pregnancy or delivery ... and then there's been the ongoing attempt at trying to be a good example (i.e. making the appropriate decisions and adopting appropriate behavior -
(whew! not sure how much longer we can keep that up! (just kidding - ok, not really ... but yes, just kidding).

Seriously, though - bravery to me is connected closely to courage. The ability to face one's fears and move forward despite the odds ... like quitting your job and starting a business (oh right, I did that ... and still doing it, despite the current condition of the economy). What kind of person starts a business to broker business loans in this economy? Oh, right ... me again ... well, in truth it was my husband's idea, but I went along with it ... and that was 3 years ago when the financial environment wasn't quite as --- shall we say, precarious? And, we're still in business ... and we still can find funding options for businesses ... but for me, it does require a certain amount of bravery and courage each day. I'd much rather play with Legos ... or drink coffee with my friends ... or actually, just about anything (sorry honey).

I'm off to fight dragons (for me today, the dragons will be in the form of angry business owners not happy with the options I can provide, angry lenders not happy with the angry business owners, and angry underwriters because they're overworked). I can hardly wait until tomorrow!


Rate this at Humor Blogs

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

This about sums it up

Today's post is prompted by

Heads Or Tails


Today is EDGE: Any Past Theme ... and oddly (again) how timely. I missed the "Down on the Farm" week, which was to be about anything on a farm. Oh do I have a good one. Let me direct your attention to a past post (coincidentally another Heads or Tails theme about "points"). Here's the followup picture ...






The driveway (yes, it really is that steep) is now complete (has been for about 5 weeks) and to bless the driveway ... you guessed it ... yep, that's what it is ... something found on a farm, called manure in polite company. I don't know the owner - no doubt a neighborhood dog ... and there is a newspaper lying next to it, which is suspicious (dogs also being known to be drawn to newspaper - you know, fetching and the like) ... so there you go.

So why do I say this about sums it up? Well, it's the perfect compliment to the whole "poopy" (G-rated blog) story about me having to explain "DRIVEWAY" to the CSR from a third world country and, as an extra bonus ... happens to describe my day today.








We had a party on Saturday (to celebrate the 135th running of the Kentucky Derby). Fifty-seven (57) delightful people in my home ... along with 30 lovely children ... and it rained ... and the toilet clogged ... and we ran out of food ... but thankfully there was still alcohol and no horses were harmed in this year's event ... so overall it was a good day.

However, today, as I was doing laundry, the toilet overflowed - bubbled like a fountain of, um "poopy" water - spewing forth onto my hardwood floors and into the closet (which is located next to the toilet). Please understand, I wasn't doing the laundry in the toilet ... I did use a washing machine ... which is located on the other side of the downstairs bathroom - in a room designated specifically for washing (and drying) clothes.

I didn't know whether to take a video or picture ... so I grabbed a mop - not my more brilliant move, I should have grabbed the camera and called someone. Well - after I cleaned up a bit of the mess, I didn't want to wring the mop - you know ... er - "out" ... because I didn't want to touch it.

But I got over that mainly because it wasn't cleaning up itself - and I put on latex gloves - cleaned everything up, poured drain cleaner in the laundry room sink and went upstairs to take a shower.

About halfway through the detox - I thought to myself ... "huh - I wonder how many gallons of water I'm flushing through the clogged main line?" Brilliant.

(You see, I came to the mainline conclusion about a month before the party, because the toilet overflowed right after my gallbladder surgery, while I was doing laundry ... not using the bathroom). So we used mainline drain cleaner and all seemed to be well.

We were mistaken.

So after my shower, I peeked into the downstairs bathroom, and sure enough ... poop all over the floor again. This time, it appeared that it came from the literal bowels of the drain ... I'm talking brown/green thick slime ... and corn - which I don't remember serving ... ew.

I'm calling the plumber this afternoon. I discussed it briefly with my husband - who wondered why I hadn't called him today. I said, "I'm going to call the plumber this afternoon." End of discussion.

Seriously though, we'd try the Kruegerator on it, but the way the pipes are configured, we can't isolate the clogged area ... so alas, the Kruegerator won't work. It saddens me to have to call a professional.

So now I have a much better idea of what happens when "poop" hits the fan ...

Rate this at Humor Blogs

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Just do it


This is one of those days when I should have just stayed in bed ... I'm hoping that it either goes by quickly or gets better and dare to dream that it will do both. So I'm pulling some stuff out of the archives for the following reasons:

1) I left my camera at a friends house over the weekend and have not gotten it back yet (so the fabulous photos I was going to download are being held hostage ... for no ransom - which is odd).

2) I wanted to write about something that made me smile (so that I can prepare for all of the angry, frustrated phone calls / emails that no doubt I will receive today).

3) Sometimes you just have to go for it or as Nike puts it - just do it, even if it's not "the way it's always been done".

The first picture is what you would expect ... small boy, sledding in snow ...

The second picture is same small boy sledding (sans snow) because it only snowed one day here this year, and then it was gone ... in 4 hours ... and now it's 82 degrees.

I have to give him a lot of credit - he never questioned me when I said, "Just get the sleds out and slide down the hill". He just went ahead and did it ... without so much as a "Mommy, that's so silly, you can't sled without snow."

There's volumes in that scenario - how nice would it be if we all didn't have those preconceived notions that prevent us from doing something ... heavy sigh. (I bet you thought I was going to go for, how nice it would be if everyone just did what I said ... but though I am an optimist, I tend to be a realist as well (OK, fine, on occasion).

So, I'm off to face my clients now ... fortunately, in the comfort of my own home, via the shields of email and phone ... and my comfy play clothes ... and lots of coffee. Maybe I can tell make a little parable out of the sledding story.

So how is Life a Box of Legos today? Well, sometimes you just have to build something without following the directions.

Rate this at Humor Blogs

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

A fairy tale - um, sort of ...

Today's post is prompted by

Heads Or Tails


Today is Tails: Once upon a time. To play along, click on the coffee mug ... it's fun, you'll see.

Once upon a time, there was a little girl, who thought (ok, still thinks and is not so little any more) she was (is) a princess. Being that in her universe, she was called the center, it was quite difficult NOT to come to that conclusion.

As the story goes, she found herself involved as "background" in a made for TV movie. Now the plot was predictable, and the stars, although recognizable, were not "A list", and being that our little princess was not the center of the movie's universe, the challenge became, not to be the best background ever, but how to spin the tale accordingly.

So here goes ...

The movie, an ABC Family production entitled My Fake Fiance, was filmed on location in the Atlanta area. Titled in pre-production as "Your Presents Requested", which the princess personally thinks is a much more clever and elegant title than something with the word "fake" in it, the movie used the princesses church, Peachtree Christian, as one of the locations. It filmed beautifully and yes, it really does look like that. The church itself has hosted over 8,000 weddings in it's 80+ years and is hailed as one of the best locations for weddings in the area. The production staff even used the church's Wedding Director as a consultant in the film. They asked the congregation if anyone would be interested in participating as an extra (a.k.a. background) for the film's wedding ceremony.

Naturally, the princess volunteered - because not only did it sound cool to be in a movie, but they dangled royal coinage as an extra bonus. Who knew one could be paid to be background?

The big day came and went ... 16+ hours of sitting in a church pew (oh why didn't they invest in cushions?) ... standing, clapping, laughing on cue, and reading a book ... and then came the moment of truth ... apparently, the director didn't get what they needed after 16 hours ... so on to day two ... and another 12 hours ... more standing, sitting, clapping, laughing on cue, and reading.

They did feed the background (actual food), which was handy ... and they did get to go to "hair and make-up" - very glamorous ... "Yes, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up."

So at the end of day two ... and the dawning that maybe background was really just background, they asked for some volunteers to become background for the reception scene.

Naturally, the princess volunteered for that as well ... because she just knew there was going to be more opportunity for blog fodder.

The reception was filmed at the Atlanta Botanical Garden and coincidentally on the absolute coldest day of the year. Even though it was in the 30's outside, background had to "act" as if it were a lovely summer day (i.e. no coats, gloves, scarves ...) The princess wore ski silks under her lightweight gauzy short sleeved dress ... and cursed wardrobe for not giving her a hat.

At the filming of the reception, background drank fake champagne and wine, ate fake food, and wiped off fake sweat in the fake heat. As they huddled around the dance floor for the last scene, trying to stand as close together as possible for warmth, the princess was placed behind "the most beautiful woman ever" - or so the director said ... The princess, who by now figured out that it was not all about her (she's a bright bulb, that one), experienced a feeling of disbelief, because although the "most beautiful woman ever - TMBWE" was moderately attractive on a sliding scale of attractiveness, the princess didn't quite come to the same conclusion as the director ... who never stopped talking to or about "TMBWE".

As an extra bonus, the princess was asked to be a stand in
(also called a "Second") for the actress performing the role of the mother of the bride. Note: "TMBWE" was NOT asked to be a "Second" because she was too busy being fawned over by the director. Being called "Second" was a little disturbing to the former universe center (also known as the princess), but this role of background was quite illuminating in many respects. Plus, they actually pay "Seconds" a "real" bonus ... because they have to stand in for the "real" star. This entails, many hours of standing on tape - then waiting for the cameras, then having the tape girl move the tape, then waiting for the cameras, then having the tape girl (there was really a girl with about 20 different colored roles of tape) move the tape, then waiting for the cameras ... oh, and did I mention in the story that it was really freezing outside?

So the princess, amazed that the director was still gushing over "TMBWE" and gagging silently, froze on a smile (yes, Kel - that is why the smile never moves at the end of the movie, because it was literally frozen on ... and since there was internal gagging over the gushing director's comments to "TMBWE", the princess was afraid to unplaster the smile afixed to her face, for fear of what might come out of her mouth.

After about 8 hours of freezing outside, the director finally called "WRAP", made more goo-goo to "TMBWE", congratulated the fake bride and groom, formerly the fake fiances, and said thanks to the nameless background.

Unable to feel her toes, the princess stumbled her way back to wardrobe, returned the necklace she adorned in the film, and somehow got back to her car.

For months, she wondered how much "screen time" she would have ... or if she would finally see what the director saw in "TMBWE" ... they always say you look differently on film. Alas, the big day came, she sat through the movie, intrigued ... not of the acting or plot, but more in the mechanics of the film production. The big moment in the sanctuary came - the princess saw her own elbow as the bride enters ... she heard the laughing on cue, she saw the standing, the clapping, and then the reception - the bridal dance at the end ... the frozen smile ... head peaking behind the shoulder of "TMBWE" - but still didn't agree with the director.

And now, basking in the afterglow, the princess is grateful for DVR's and the pause button ... and for her friends who took the time to play the "Where in the World is ..." game with her. She is appreciative of the 1 - 5 seconds of screen time, realizes that beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder and that by not actually being the universe center, she can enjoy background experiences ... because sometimes it's much more fun to be the background - there's a lot less pressure than being the center ...


Rate this at Humor Blogs

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Three Memorable Comments ...

Today's post is prompted by

Heads Or Tails


Today is Tails: List Three and coincidentally, I just happen to have three things to share. Three Memorable Comments related to my recent surgical experience.

I'm not keen on general anesthesia. You're lying there (naked with a thin sheet on top of you) on a steel table staring up at people in masks holding knives ... and then several hours later, you wake up not being able to breathe - with absolutely no recollection of anything in between. I don't know about you, but that to me is somewhat, um, uncomfortable.

Last Friday, I walked myself, all the while attempting to maintain dignity, grace, and modesty while clutching the flimsy sheet, to the operating room. Walking to the OR was new for me, but I think I get it. The Surgical Assistant came into my room, asked my name, and the procedure that I assumed I was getting, and then grabbed my IV and escorted me to the OR - where I had to get on to the table myself ... and stare at the masked people, and the knives on the trays - oh, and don't get me started on the glaring overhead lights.


So my anesthesiologist says,

Comment One: "OK, Lisa, here's your champagne and strawberries ..."

and then literally, in the middle of my laugh, I was out. I awoke 2.5 hours later not being able to breathe and hearing a child screaming and crying at the top of his lungs. As a parent, this is NOT the first thing you want to hear after the last thing you remember is a masked man holding a knife.

Panic, apparently is not the perfect companion in a post operative situation. Who knew? So, I'm lying there, gasping, coughing, and trying to call out. The fabulously sensitive post-op nurse came in, slapped an oxygen mask on my face, and said, "Take deep breaths". My sarcasm quickly came back on-line (at least in my head) and I said to myself "Listen, lady, if I could take deep breaths, don't you think I would be?" I finally calmed down (most likely after an eternity of 30 - 50 seconds) and managed to choke out the words, "Is the child OK? Is there something wrong with him?" Please understand that this child was SCREAMING as if being tortured ... this was not the typical cry you hear in a doctor's office after a vaccination ... but then again, I was under the influence. Fabulously sensitive post-op nurse said, "Yes, he's fine, he just had his adenoids out."

I said, "With or without anesthetic?"


Fast forward to yesterday (not much to report other than the surgery itself was apparently uneventful and the gallbladder is now a mere memory - Friday and Saturday were spent in a fog of pain meds and sleep).

I was relating the above story to my chiropractor, Justin, who said his recent shoulder surgery was much the same (walking into the OR, staring at masked people with knives, and then waking up not being able to breathe) when my wonderful husband says, "Yes, the surgeon took a side trip to visit her liver just to make sure it was OK and he said it looked great."

At this, comedian Justin says,

Comment Two: "That's great - I'll bet he saw the Absolut label and said, OK - all good here." I said, "Not to mention the Patron label" and then the banter disintegrated from there.

The third comment comes from my six year old son. My son, and I were sitting down when my son asked me to go with him to play catch. I said, "No, sweetie, not right now, Mommy's tummy is still a bit sore, I'm just going to rest a bit more today." At that point, my husband came in and sat down. Timing is everything ... so he asked my husband, who said, "But son, Daddy just sat down and is so comfortable!" To which I replied, "Yes, but you're not recovering from havin an organ ripped from your body." To which my son replied, with perfect six year old inflection -


Comment Three: "Good one, Mommy."

They left to go play catch.


Rate this at Humor Blogs

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

1 second (literally) of fame




Now you see me, now you don't ...

Back in November, I participated as an extra in a "made for TV movie" ... I was officially dubed, "background" - serving as a wedding guest. The wedding scenes were filmed in our church - which was actually kind of neat. There are a couple of stories in this - which at some point will be revealed ... most likely after the film has been aired.

So here's the teaser, my 1 second of fame ... I'm in the opening trailer. If you hit the pause button at the 1 second mark, I'm the guest at the end of the pew on the right - the very first one you see ... albeit briefly.

Let me know if you want an autograph.


Rate this at Humor Blogs

Friday, March 27, 2009

Having trouble deciding what to wear?

Since I think that life is like a box of LEGOs, I'm always on the lookout for supporting collateral ...
I think this fits the bill for today.


Virtual Lego Fashion Show - Click here for the funniest movie of the week

As I was drinking my first cup of coffee this morning, the one thought that kept going through my head was, "Lord, please don't let me make too many mistakes today ..." and then I turned on my computer and found this video.

Enough said.


Rate this at Humor Blogs

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

A common mistake

It's been a hectic two weeks - and no letting up in sight I fear ... huh ... I think I started last week's post the same way ... odd.

Today's post is prompted by

Heads Or Tails


Today is HEADS: Common and oddly timely ... it's as if Skittles has a web cam placed mysteriously inside my head.

One of my common mistakes is that I believe I have much more time that I actually do. Ergo, I often try to squeeze in just one more thing ... so more times than not, I am late to things. Take for example, today.

I woke up ... late.
I tried to make up for that by doing a host of important but not urgent things prior to leaving for a seminar this morning. Which of course, made me late to the meeting.
I made up for my late arrival by staying "after" ... which ultimately made me late for lunch.
I arrived home with a list of things to do before I had to pick up my son at the bus stop ... (I did make it on time to the bus stop, however, the bus was late ... so I'm not sure if "on time" in that instance counts).
After arriving back home, I checked email, made some phone calls, and checked the time. We were late for a "play" date. After confirming we were still invited (the mom of my son's friend was running late as well), I drove my son to his friend's house.
We stayed there too late.
We missed baseball practice.
And dinner.
And I forgot to pick up milk at the grocery store.
In the end, my son finally got to bed an hour later than usual ... which means that my whole evening "routine" was pushed back which leads me to making this post ... late.

I wonder how common or widespread the propensity to squeeze in just one more thing is ... maybe it's not really a mistake, maybe it's a life choice ... nah - who would consciously make that kind of choice?


Rate this at Humor Blogs

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Sometimes I forget the point

It's been a hectic two weeks - and no letting up in sight I fear.

Today's post is prompted by

Heads Or Tails


Today is HEADS: Point ... and oddly timely. Let me recap how I spent most of last Friday ... but as usual, I have to provide a little back story.

Back Story starts here ...
On December 15, 2008 - I remember this clearly, because it is my cousin's birthday and my very dearest friend was in the hospital having surgery. I was on the phone with her husband to see how she was when I glanced out the front window and saw two truckloads of men ... with jackhammers, and other implements of destruction ... in front of my house (driveway specifically). After assured that my friend was in recovery and the surgery went well, I trotted outside to say hello to the pack of men.

"Good Morning!" (I said with a bit of fear and trepidation).
"Hey." (Along with some grunts, and head nods).
"Can I get you guys any coffee, tea, water?" (Said with beaming smile and attempted oozings of charm).
"No, thanks - we're all set."
"Great! Can I ask what's going on?" (Said with a smile and still a bit of trepidation).
"Well, y'all reported a gas leak and even though it's your neighbor's pipes, we're going to have to break up your drive way to fix it."
"WHAT?" (Trepidation resolved into angst at this point)
"Didn't you report a gas leak?" (I'm guessing my mouth still agape made the supervisor ask this).
"Uh, my husband did ..." (great, thanks honey - sure, I know you were being all helpful ... but...)
"Well, we have to fix the leak and to do that we will need access to the pipes, which are under your driveway." (Said with just a hint of patronization).
"Fine. Who's going to repair the driveway?" (All trepidation gone at this point, along with the charm).
"Oh, we are, ma'am. Someone will be out in a two weeks to pour the cement. Before we leave today, we'll put in a patch so you won't have a gaping hole in your driveway."
"Uh huh, great, can you give me a number to call just in case there are any issues?" (Trepidation now has returned - still smiling, only with gritted teeth).
"Just call the gas company."
"And you guys will replace the entire section of the driveway, not just fill in the patch, right?
"Sure, ma'am. I'll make a note of it."
(Said as he turned away).
"OK - let me know if I can do anything for you - " (Said as I turned away).


Fast forward to Friday ... uh, that would be not 2 weeks, not even 2 months, but 3 - count 'em T-H-R-E-E months later and POINTLESS follow up phone calls.

End of back story - Friday's happenings start here ...
I glanced out the window about Noon ... to see some men in my driveway with tools and a dump truck. I thought to myself, great - they finally came - so I ran upstairs to put on my shoes and go outside ... only to get there while the truck was driving away (less than 2 minutes since I first saw them). So I looked at the front door - no little "tag" or "note" saying "HEY! WE WERE HERE" ... nothing. HOWEVER, they did leave a giant hole in the driveway - think about 9 square feet in the center of the front section (the gravel and chunks of concrete and asphalt that comprised the infamous patch were now gone). Oh, and they left a barrier gate ... so as to indicate a type of warning. Brilliant.

I don't mean to whine about it, but it would have been slightly helpful to have had someone let me know what they were doing so that I could get my car out of the garage - but OK - clearly they're coming right back ... but more to the point, they did not rip up the entire section of the driveway - which was about twice as long as the 3 foot by 3 foot hole (approximately three feet on either side of the hole). And, they must have been quite stealthy because I didn't hear them prior to my happen glance out the window.

I don't think I mentioned that the driveway, prior to the patch, was in great condition, it's not more than a few years old - no cracks, no pits, no blemishes of any kind. So, I called the gas company ... again. When I called over the last 3 months, they just made a note of my call and said someone would be out soon. Apparently, soon is 3 months. I had no idea.

The calls always start out like this:

RING RING ...
"Please press 1 if you are calling to report a gas leak, Press 2 if you would like Customer Service".
PRESS 2
"Please press 1 if you meant to report a gas leak the first time, press 2 for all other questions."
PRESS 2
"Please press 1 if this is an emergency and you are reporting a gas leak".
--->Insert expletives and hitting the phone against the wall (as if that would help).
"Press 2 to contact billing, Press 3 to contact repairs ... AHHA!!!!"
PRESS 3
"If you are calling to report a gas emergency ... "

And so it goes, until finally, they figure that they will give you a break (since you've been on the phone for 15 minutes pressing buttons) and get you to a real person.

Back to Friday... I speak to the very polite but clue free CSR from India who routed me to four different contacts. However, rather than just a simple transfer, I have to go BACK through the PHONE MAZE ... can you feel the frustration building? Then the real fun begins, so now after going through the voice prompts, I now have to explain to each person what my problem is ... and after they hear it, they send me to somewhere else. So 45 minutes later and still no further along, I get sent back to where I started ... polite but clue free CSR.

I explain to him, yet again what my problem is and he suggests I call another 800 number directly for repairs. I am elated ... and want to hug him through the phone.

I hang up, call the number ... gleefully go through the PHONE PROMPTS FROM HELL and talk to someone who tells me ... that this is the repair line for gas APPLIANCES.

I am sorry to say that I hung up rather abruptly. It's now been over 90 minutes since I started this little dance.

So I call back the first number again ... working my way through the maze, and ending up with another outsourced Customer Service Rep. This time, the CSR asks me to spell driveway. I was tempted to provide an alternate spelling (briefly) - but held back somehow. Brimming with frustration, blood vessels popping out of my forehead everywhere, I said, somewhat incredulously ... "I apologize for having to ask this, but I'm not sure I can take much more ... and I mean no offense ... but, do you understand what I mean when I say, 'driveway'?"

He replied, "No ma'am, I do not. But I would be most pleased to help you if you could explain."

Sigh.

I attempted an explanation of a driveway - frustration mounting, tension building, ready to erupt at a moment's notice ... when the rep finally gave up trying to understand and suggested that he transfer me to his escalation supervisor.

No, really?

Within 2 minutes of speaking with her (she was an Atlanta native and very calming soul) to provide a reader's digest version of the events to date - she said, "You mean they left a hole in your driveway and didn't tell you?"

"YES!!! YES!!!! YES!!!!!!!!" I exclaimed with delight - and more jumping. "But not only that, they didn't remove the whole section which is what I asked for initially because the driveway is (or was) in great condition."


They came back ... within an hour of my phone conversation with the understanding escalation supervisor and assured me that they would return on Monday to remove the entire section and pour new concrete. In the meantime, they filled the patch with concrete so there wouldn't be a giant whole over the weekend.

So what's the point? You know, at this point, I really have no idea. I'm open for suggestions.

Rate this at Humor Blogs