Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Where is ...

Today's post is prompted by this Tuesday's Heads or Tails meme - Heads: Wear or Tails: Where ... to play or read more, please go here.

"Where is ..." fill in the blank is the one question that fills my days and some nights ... I get phone calls, emails, taps on the shoulder, tugs on my shirt ... you name it. Apparently, I know - and those who ask, assume that I will share that information, correctly even.

I know where things are in the refrigerator, cabinet, pantry, laundry, basement, garage, toy box, closet, car, email in-box, and apparently my husband's computer (which I have to argue ... no, I really don't ... he just has a really organized file system, so organized that sometimes he forgets where he puts stuff ... ).

Let's use this as a sample ... you can substitute Chinese Mustard for whatever else comes to mind.

"Where is the Chinese Mustard?"

"In the refrigerator"

"Right, but where in the refrigerator?"

[In my head, I scream ... where it's been since we got the refrigerator] - but in my big girl voice, I say, "On the shelf with the other condiments."

"I assumed that, but where, exactly?

Here's where it gets tricky ... being that I answer the "Where is" question on a routine basis - dozens of times daily - I can use sarcasm, which might temporarily amuse me, but will render a loving and kind man insane or I can simply tell him. What to do, what to do.

The seconds are agonizing, as his egg rolls are getting cold ... tick-tock, tick-tock ...

"Hmmmm, I think it's to the left of the dijon and to the right of the Heinz yellow."

"Nope, I still don't see it ..." - a hint of distress, a smidgen of frustration ...

"Ahhhh, you might have to MOVE the ketchup."

Barely audible exclamation of joy ... "Got it ... thanks."

Now, here's the kicker ...how is it that I have the missing item radar in the first place ... and why it is that I can correctly locate hundreds, nay, thousands of items for my own family, but when I am in the presence of my own mother ... I have a total lack of recall? It must be some kind of weird retroactive gene that maintains dominance unless in the presence of someone with more experience ... I don't know, but it's freaky.

Here's a last minute P.S. - Several months ago, a back door house key was misplaced. The last person to use it, my husband, asked "where is ...". I suggested that he check his pockets, since he routinely checks all doors, etc. His alleged search came up negative, but only moments ago, the missing key magically reappeared. I asked, "Where was it?" He answered, "Apparently, it was in the pocket of one of my pairs of pants."

Huh. Who knew?


Rob said...

It's almost exactly like this in our house, only with the cupboard where canned goods and such are stored. My wife can't find anything in there, but I can tell from exactly what jar of pasta sauce the package of tuna is behind from 3 rooms away.

Guess which one one of does the grocery shopping...

But that's ok because I can't balance a checkbook to save my life, yet my wife can do this blindfolded, so I suppose it all sorta evens out.

anthonynorth said...

What's a refrigerator? ;-)

storyteller said...

Great ‘take’ on this week’s prompt. I understand this kind of radar and have had it all of my life. The only time it failed me was when Molly was a puppy. She snagged my keys from where I left them and put them in her toy box. I spent HOURS looking for them and quickly taught her they were a ‘no no’ ;--)

Thanks for dropping by Small Reflections yesterday.
Hugs and blessings,

Anonymous said...

I am cursed as well with the 'knowing' gene. Except when I lose something, which is pretty rare.

Berni said...

Your post just made me check my pockets as I couldn't remember where I had put the outside freezer key. I have two freezers in my carport but I have to lock them to keep the bears from invading them. Luckily I had put the key back where it belongs.