Monday, September 15, 2008

Guilt, sugar, and caffeine

One of the Southern expressions I failed to interpret correctly when I first arrived here, was "gimme some sugar". Sure, I got the "gimme" part ... as in "give me", but I always thought that when someone asked for sugar, you got a cup or bowl, and poured out the white granules from the Domino bag. I'm no rocket scientist ... but I'm pretty sure that when someone asks for sugar, that's what they mean.

I was wrong.

A few mornings back, whilst still in the throws of my unfaithfulness, I decided to bake some cinnamon rolls. I figured that since I was going to run 4 or 5 miles that morning, I would just pop those fresh little morsels right in the oven and carb up on sugar before I left. I'm no elite athlete, either ... or I would be eating my favorite Clif bars for breakfast. I'm just happy running blissfully on sugar, the white granulated kind.

Well, here's the thing ... on the mornings I run, I don't drink coffee before I go ... it's my little treat after the run and on long runs (over 8 miles), I use Espresso Love, the GU with caffeine in it for a little boost to get me through that last little bit. But, I digress.

So I popped the Pillsbury's into the oven, got my running clothes on and counted down the ticking clock. There were five in total ... when the timer buzzer went off, I successfully removed four from the cookie sheet but I just couldn't get that last one off ... no way, no how. I was thinking to myself, "GIMME SOME SUGAR, expletive" - translation, "I want the cinnamon rolls now, please". Finally, I just pulled off the top of the roll. And guess what I found underneath?

That's right, THE LID to the icing. I had to take a picture - definite blog fodder. After getting the large metal spatula that we use from grilling, I was able to pry the metal lid that had fused itself to the metal cookie sheet and fortunately minimized the damage to said cookie sheet. Between the laughing, crying, and the huffing and puffing it took to detach the lid, I sufficiently depleted my store of running energy - so I ate a cinnamon roll and read my latest copy of Runners World. I think the article was about nutrition.

After that workout, I felt a twinge of guilt for not actually running, since I am still technically in training for the Thanksgiving Half Marathon. So to assuage that guilt, I decided to surf the internet a bit ... and based on my confession on Friday, we all know what happened. Neither the sugar nor the monetizing your blog articles helped me feel better, just sluggish and even more guilty. Then I realized the problem, I hadn't had any caffeine yet. That would explain my failure to notice the METAL LID that I had placed on the cookie sheet. So I made myself a pot of coffee to drown my sorrows and ate another cinnamon roll and sadly to say, continued to cheat on you, my dear readers.

When my husband got home and I got to the "gimme some sugar" part of the story, I promptly received a kiss. I look at him with the "what was that for, why are you not listening to me?" expression and then realized our language barrier. It is indeed, a constant struggle - but in this particular instance, one that has it's perks.

So the moral of this story is (and I know some of you probably were wondering) three-fold. When you're training for an endurance event (in this case a half marathon), cinnamon rolls are not the breakfast of champions. When you're explaining your need for sugar to someone from the South, don't be surprised if they kiss you. And finally, by all means, if you need caffeine for your brain to function in the morning, DO NOT attempt to make something that requires you to pull things out of a can and put them in the oven.

Disclaimer: Although product placement was used profusely in this post, no payment was received by the writer neither directly or indirectly for her endorsements. :-)


Anonymous said...

That entire thing just cracked me up, but when your husband kissed you and fell out of my chair!

Quit cheating on us and entertain my with funnies like this!

Anonymous said...

I confess, as a southern that "sugar" requested by "gimme" does refer to sweet kisses.

Miss Lisa makes the BEST cinnamon roles. ever.

Anonymous said...

i am beyond jealous of those cinnamon rolls...